I feel really awkward and pathetic in asking for help online but I don’t know where else to ask and I really don’t know if there’s even anything wrong with me, I keep trying to believe that I’m depressed and should ask for help but the fact that I think im depressed makes me think im just seeking attention and wallowing in self-pity. Im male, 17 years old and have reached a point in my life whereby I feel like everything is falling down, ive felt like this for the last year, im a very socially awkward person even around people ive known my whole life, I mumble, stutter , have little to no self-esteem and have always been very emotional. Im an overweight person, average looking and im basically a loser. I rarely go out, if I do its always to the same things like the cinema or a friends house to play PS3, I don’t go out partying, although I wish I was, I spend most of my time on my PS3 which I get mocked for by family/friends/teachers or im on my PC/Laptop. I always had the plan of going to university ever since I was young however I currently have no interest in college and am failing all my classes, I never go to classes, do work, if I do go im in and out I don’t stop to say hello to anybody, I just want to get home again as I feel so weak, stupid when out in public . Im borderline on the verge of getting kicked out yet I don’t seem to care despite wanting to go to university and having 5 offers. I hate having the company of family around, ive grown used to being alone ever since my brother went to university, I avoid sleep because I like the night hours when nobody is around and as a result I feel tired all through the day and often fall asleep. Im an extremely stressful person, I have white hairs growing, high blood pressure for my age and I greatly fear getting diabetes. Ive always been bullied at school and even still do in a friendly sort of way but this really affects my self confidence and as a result I hide in a shell from all my problems when around friends/family and often use humour to escape. Im the odd one out of my family, im shy, sad and pathetic while the rest of my family are loud and social. Ive never had a girl friend and fear being alone later in life, lately ive been binge eating whenever I feel down and have gained nearly a stone since Christmas. I have mood swings where I lose all control, I break stuff and have thoughts of violence. I envy others who seem to live normal lives and I regret the last 7 years of my life yet I unhappily understand that my life is what it is and I cant change that. Ive had thoughts of suicide but only thoughts as I fear the guilt on my family and im too mentally weak to go through with it. I crave something to remove all these feelings and have been researching easy access drugs to create highs to take the edge off of everything. Im sorry to go on but I have so much to say but find it hard to express everything, sometimes I just want to die wishing I never existed in other peoples lives, my parents are both ageing and have high blood pressure and are extremely busy and stressed so I don’t want to put a greater burden upon them. It’d be much appreciated if someone would tell me if im simply pathetic and just a teenager or have a real problem
Problem Or Simply Pathetic?
November 27th, 2009 § Tags: Pathetic, Problem, Simply Posted in Diabetes Symptoms § § 9 comments
i think you definetly have a problem, and it’s not that you’re pathetic. it sounds to me like this could definetly be depression, but it might also be some type of anxiety disorder. i’ll even go as far as to say it could be borderline personality disorder. these are all problems that can be easy to fix if you get the right help. if you haven’t talked to your parents about this, you really should. it might seem like it will burden them but im sure they’d rather see you happy than upset all the time. get them to help you make an appointment with a psychiatrist that can help diagnose you properly. they can give you medication or treatment that can make a world of a difference in your life. check out the links i’ve listed to see if any of those symptoms click with your problems.
Im so sorry sweetie, but it sounds like your depressed. I would talk to your school counselor and see what they can do about getting you some outside help. Ive been where you are now, and it gets better sweetie. Good luck!!
i’d say your best bet is to see a doctor who can give you the correct diagnosis and maybe medication to help you out.
hope you feel better soon.
I really feel for you, there is obviously a lot building up there and it’s a shame you don’t have anyone you feel you can talk to. It doesn’t sound pathetic at all, and it is a real issue if it is affecting you both mentally physically. You mention the last 7 years of your life – what I think you need to do now is think of the next 7 and how you want to do things differently. Imagine the person you want to be in 7 years time and start aiming now to become that person. It’s a shame you have lost interest in studying, I reckon moving away to uni could do you the world of good. You would get away from the people around you who bring you down, even if it’s unknowingly, and you’d meet new people and gradually become more confident. Just imagine those people who have bullied you seeing the success you could make of yourself if you put your mind to it. I think you could really benefit from talking to someone trained to help with what you are going through. And if the uni thing really doesn’t appeal then save up some money and go travelling, it might seem a little scary but once you’re away you can just take each day as it comes and seeing new places can give you a real zest for life. I hope everything works out for you,
i think its a bit of both. There have been times when i have felt the same. It sounds like you are becoming depressed and could do with some counselling. If you cant afford it then you might want to buy some counselling books or books on how to improve self esteem, I never really found one book that I was like “ah thats the answer!” but after reading several psychology books (not self help books although they may help too) that i could see what was causing my depression etc and it did help. Try “They f**k you up – how to survive family life” by Oliver James or “5 rules of thought” by mary.t. browne – I prefer the second one myself. Also go to ur docs and see if he/she can get u some medication and conselling. I think counselling is more effective but medication can work too. Also try doing something that makes u feel accomplished – like a martial art like Judo and work on your self image dont neglect yourself, im starting to write a book (horror) based on a dream I had so that I can feel accomplished, why not try the same?having a new interest can help a lot. Also, when I get depressed, excercise really helps, just a half hr walk in the fresh air can really clear your mind, put your music on loudly and go for it! one day at a time, I spent most of 2007 wanting to die and a lot of 2008 very unhappy too, but it can be beaten.
Your not pathetic. I think this is just a point in your life where you dont see anyway out of your situation.
I agree you should go to a doctor, who can get you the right support and help you to talk about your situation. As an outsider can see things clearer than we can
You clearly want to do somethin with your life, like going to university.
But just take one thing at a time!
Good luck
IMO you have major depression and social phobia like MANY OTHER PEOPLE do. your not alone. you really need seek help (for yourself, no one else) the first place to go is your local doctor, they deal with these types of areas all the time. trust me. Be open and honest with him/her and I am sure together and maybe with some medications and/or pyscological help you will make it through. I did.
Hey, come on, take me as your friend.
First step: Eat in time with correct amount of intake. Include more of oat meals, soya, fresh vegetables and fruits.
2nd step: Join a gym class. Do exercises regularly.
3rd step: It is not only you who has problems, there are many others in the world who manage their problems with a smile and self-confidence can be built.
4th step: Take charge of yourself. You are responsible for your upliftment.
5th step: Don’t have expectations with people or result in works. Just do your duties.
6th step: Have faith in God/yourself. YOU ARE UNIQUE IN THIS WORLD. YOU CAN DO WONDERS. BE CHEERFUL. DELETE THE THOUGHTS THAT WOULD AFFECT YOU. STICK ON TO YOUR GOOD THOUGHTS. YOU ARE A NICE PERSON. YOU CAN COME UP IN LIFE. YES, YOU CAN DO IT.
Whew! That’s quite a biography you’ve written. I hope it helped a little bit to share your problems with others.
To answer your question, I think you have a real, serious problem. And It think you know it. You just don’t know what to do about it.
I, we, don’t either. It’s easy to say to share all this with your parents and let them help you. Rarely does that happen. It’s easy to say to seek out professional counseling, That would be really good if you could. But, such might not be readily available in the UK. It certainly isn’t in the US unless the family has money. It’s easy to say to seek out pastoral counseling, but again often not practical.
I would encourage you to avail yourself of one or more of the above if at all possible.
If not, getting your life together may be up to you alone. Best done in small steps. Write out a list of all the things about yourself and your life that you want to change. Under each item, write down a plan of action, with goals and deadlines. Be liberal here. Give yourself enough time, and be reasonable.
Example: I want to look directly at people with an unwavering gaze.
Action: The next person I see, that’s exactly what I’ll do, no matter how uncomfortable I feel doing it.
Timeline: As soon as the opportunity arises.
Simple, but you get the picture. Go thru all the things you’ve shared with us, and things you haven’t. Work on each item until you’ve succeeded. Cross it off the list. One thing at a time, some things simultaneously. When you come to one you need help with, find someone that can help you.
For weight control, there is a ton of info about that on the internet. Simply stated, a low glycemic index diet and exercise is the key. I have found regular exercise to be a great anti-depressant. Do some online research.
As you accomplish your goals, your self esteem will improve and propel you to move forward. Your peers and your family will be astonished. You’ll gain their respect, but more importantly, respect for yourself.
Good luck.